It's been a fucking long time since I blogged.
13 months.
13 fucking months had passed since Ive enlisted in Army.
11 more months to go!
Kinda excited that I'm actually going to further my studies after I ord-ed. Will be getting my life back.
Nothing happened much in 2010, stupid Army fucking eating my everyday life.
I'm actually serving in Singapore Combat Engineers as a Signal Operator.
My 2011 resolution :
Diet.
Quit drinking.
Jonathan Butt go to hell.
Edward Ong go to hell.
Kin Yong go to hell.
Promoted to Corporal First Class Bryan Alexander Pearce.
LOL.
I'm actually writing all these fuckshit in camp.. Ha ha ha.
Alright, gonna stop here, got nothing much to write anyways.
Pce.
bcgh signing off; _/
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Friday, May 28, 2010
So much words...
26th of Oct 2009.
The day i'll never forget.
I used to have a happy family, with my two brothers, my dad and mum.
I always quarrel with my dad, and talk back to him, and while my dad is angry with my, my mum always protects me.
She loved me the most among all her 3 kids.
When I was young, when my dad always try to punish me or hit me when i talk back to him rudely, or get bad results, my mom always try to defend me from my dad, and tell him that i will change, and be a good kid.
Every single time when i did something wrong, my mom always try to help me.
Even during O levels, when i told my dad that i don't give a fuck whether i can or cannot go into Polytechnic, my dad was so angry.
However my mom told me that i'm old enough to think whether i want to continue my studies.
She knows that i hate studying the most, and my dad always wants to me get 70's or 80's for all my test results, when my mom just said, " you pass can already."
She's the one that never ever gave me up, even when i'm scoring like fuck in poly. I even told my family that i did not wanted to continue studying in poly as i really hated to study. Only my mom "supported" me and told me that if can get through poly then good, if not, it's not the end of the world, life will still go on and she would still love me.
I remembered when i was in secondary school days, when i used to play WWE cards. Of course, i wouldn't dare to ask money from my dad to buy cards. My mom gave me money, even though she did not work and was a full housewife.
My mom is a very simple woman, she was easily contented.
Whenever she buys food for me, she would get me better food then hers, always.
Every single morning she would wake up to the market and buy my breakfast for me.
When i was in poly, i was smoking. My allowance from dad was like $10.
A packet of smokes was already about $11. My parents, of course, was against me smoking. My dad wouldn't even give me one cent to smoke.
But guess what, when i didn't have enough money to buy smokes, my mom would buy it.
YES. She would. Which parents in the world would buy something that harms her kid?
I know im a fucker. But my mom really loves me too much. To the point that even she knows that it's bad for my health, she still buys it because she loves me way too much.
Every time i stay home late, she wouldn't sleep well, and would call me every 2-3 hours in the late night to ask me what time am i coming home.
Every time i'm drunk, she would help me open the door.
Every time i'm drunk and im vomitting inside the toilet, she would wait outside my toilet and ask me whether im fine.
Every time i go to school, she would open the door for me and take my shoes, and prepare my waterbottle, and ask me whether do i got enough money to spend for the day.
Every time i take bus number 9, she would wave goodbye through the window in my room and smile.
Every time she would call me and ask me what time would i be back home from school.
I talk back to her alot, i didn't cherished her, and always would that her that she doesn't loves me as much as my 2 brothers.
But deep down in my heart i know that she loves me the most.
26th of October.
Around 7 plus in the morning.
My house phone rang.
I thought it was just the normal phone call that my mum would do and ask me what i would like for breakfast.
However it wasn't.
My oldest brother called.
He told me that mom was hospitalized and didn't know much about what happened.
I freaked out and rushed to the hospital.
I told myself it's okay, mom would be fine.
I was the first to reach CGH.
I waited at the A&E.
My family all came in a short while.
I went home to put my mother's stuff that were removed from her, her clothes, watches and etc.
When i went back, my 2nd brother was crying and told me to go listen to what the doctor is saying.
You wouldn't understand the emotional rush i was going through then.
The doctor said that my mom's heart is now depending on a ventilator.
The only thing we could do is to decide when to let her go.
My mom had a major stroke.
She could not move.
She could not talk.
She could not open her eyes.
Doctor said that there is only 2-3% chance that she would survive this, not to mention recovery.
However, we insisted, we hope for a miracle.
We decide not to let her go.
After less then a week, the doctor suddenly said that her heart is beating by itself now.
Less then a mom, my mom could tingle her hands and leg a little, and her eyes can open.
But she can't really response to us.
She can't talk.
She can't eat by her own.
After 6 months, i told myself, look on the bright side of life, even though my mom is in this state, she's still alive.
I still remembered on 25th of oct 2009, the day before the incident.
I asked her how did her and my dad met.
I also told her that, next time, i'll marry a good and pretty wife, get a new house, and live together with her and my dad.
I said don't live with either my 2 brothers, i want to take care of my mom and dad for life.
She said ok.
The reason that i wrote this is to tell my friends, or maybe my readers, if i have any-
That life is short, cherish your beloved ones, or live to regret like me. Never ever be rude to your parents, even though how much they may scold you, they always have your interest at heart.
Mommy- Hope u'll get well soon, i know you would. Maybe tomorrow you will be able to start talking to us and move around soon alright? <3
bcgh signing off;
The day i'll never forget.
I used to have a happy family, with my two brothers, my dad and mum.
I always quarrel with my dad, and talk back to him, and while my dad is angry with my, my mum always protects me.
She loved me the most among all her 3 kids.
When I was young, when my dad always try to punish me or hit me when i talk back to him rudely, or get bad results, my mom always try to defend me from my dad, and tell him that i will change, and be a good kid.
Every single time when i did something wrong, my mom always try to help me.
Even during O levels, when i told my dad that i don't give a fuck whether i can or cannot go into Polytechnic, my dad was so angry.
However my mom told me that i'm old enough to think whether i want to continue my studies.
She knows that i hate studying the most, and my dad always wants to me get 70's or 80's for all my test results, when my mom just said, " you pass can already."
She's the one that never ever gave me up, even when i'm scoring like fuck in poly. I even told my family that i did not wanted to continue studying in poly as i really hated to study. Only my mom "supported" me and told me that if can get through poly then good, if not, it's not the end of the world, life will still go on and she would still love me.
I remembered when i was in secondary school days, when i used to play WWE cards. Of course, i wouldn't dare to ask money from my dad to buy cards. My mom gave me money, even though she did not work and was a full housewife.
My mom is a very simple woman, she was easily contented.
Whenever she buys food for me, she would get me better food then hers, always.
Every single morning she would wake up to the market and buy my breakfast for me.
When i was in poly, i was smoking. My allowance from dad was like $10.
A packet of smokes was already about $11. My parents, of course, was against me smoking. My dad wouldn't even give me one cent to smoke.
But guess what, when i didn't have enough money to buy smokes, my mom would buy it.
YES. She would. Which parents in the world would buy something that harms her kid?
I know im a fucker. But my mom really loves me too much. To the point that even she knows that it's bad for my health, she still buys it because she loves me way too much.
Every time i stay home late, she wouldn't sleep well, and would call me every 2-3 hours in the late night to ask me what time am i coming home.
Every time i'm drunk, she would help me open the door.
Every time i'm drunk and im vomitting inside the toilet, she would wait outside my toilet and ask me whether im fine.
Every time i go to school, she would open the door for me and take my shoes, and prepare my waterbottle, and ask me whether do i got enough money to spend for the day.
Every time i take bus number 9, she would wave goodbye through the window in my room and smile.
Every time she would call me and ask me what time would i be back home from school.
I talk back to her alot, i didn't cherished her, and always would that her that she doesn't loves me as much as my 2 brothers.
But deep down in my heart i know that she loves me the most.
26th of October.
Around 7 plus in the morning.
My house phone rang.
I thought it was just the normal phone call that my mum would do and ask me what i would like for breakfast.
However it wasn't.
My oldest brother called.
He told me that mom was hospitalized and didn't know much about what happened.
I freaked out and rushed to the hospital.
I told myself it's okay, mom would be fine.
I was the first to reach CGH.
I waited at the A&E.
My family all came in a short while.
I went home to put my mother's stuff that were removed from her, her clothes, watches and etc.
When i went back, my 2nd brother was crying and told me to go listen to what the doctor is saying.
You wouldn't understand the emotional rush i was going through then.
The doctor said that my mom's heart is now depending on a ventilator.
The only thing we could do is to decide when to let her go.
My mom had a major stroke.
She could not move.
She could not talk.
She could not open her eyes.
Doctor said that there is only 2-3% chance that she would survive this, not to mention recovery.
However, we insisted, we hope for a miracle.
We decide not to let her go.
After less then a week, the doctor suddenly said that her heart is beating by itself now.
Less then a mom, my mom could tingle her hands and leg a little, and her eyes can open.
But she can't really response to us.
She can't talk.
She can't eat by her own.
After 6 months, i told myself, look on the bright side of life, even though my mom is in this state, she's still alive.
I still remembered on 25th of oct 2009, the day before the incident.
I asked her how did her and my dad met.
I also told her that, next time, i'll marry a good and pretty wife, get a new house, and live together with her and my dad.
I said don't live with either my 2 brothers, i want to take care of my mom and dad for life.
She said ok.
The reason that i wrote this is to tell my friends, or maybe my readers, if i have any-
That life is short, cherish your beloved ones, or live to regret like me. Never ever be rude to your parents, even though how much they may scold you, they always have your interest at heart.
Mommy- Hope u'll get well soon, i know you would. Maybe tomorrow you will be able to start talking to us and move around soon alright? <3
天下的媽媽 都是一样的.
bcgh signing off;
Friday, April 2, 2010
Woot!
Exactly one more fucking week to POP. 4 fucking months just passed, I don't feel sad leaving that dumb fuck place. Lmao.
Gonna have a poly reunion chalet from 9th of April to 11th of April, gonna relax myself there.
Seriously it hurts, to see you with another guy. All I can say is, too bad, you two met first. Suck thumb.
Alright just gonna stop here. Gotta go to SAF terminal to book in now. Bro's gonna give me a lift.
PS : Mum, I'm praying for you everyday, we all know ull get well! Love you mom.
icantbestopped.
BCGH signing out;
Gonna have a poly reunion chalet from 9th of April to 11th of April, gonna relax myself there.
Seriously it hurts, to see you with another guy. All I can say is, too bad, you two met first. Suck thumb.
Alright just gonna stop here. Gotta go to SAF terminal to book in now. Bro's gonna give me a lift.
PS : Mum, I'm praying for you everyday, we all know ull get well! Love you mom.
icantbestopped.
BCGH signing out;
Monday, March 8, 2010
Booking in again.
It's like getting jailed. Wonder i'll be out this Friday night or Saturday afternoon. Hope it's Saturday.
Had a great and simple 21st birthday, firstly lunch with all my close buddies, then caught Alice In The Wonderland on screen. The movie was great, imo. Lastly, had dinner with my family, also got a nice big cake for my birthday! LOL. My brother only took one candle, what a joke, he kept saying I was one year old only. Lmao.
Also thanks to my brother, JasonC, he got me a nice LV Slingbag. I seriously love it to the max.
Thanks to all my brothers, buddies, my dad and mom, for making my 21st so simple yet so sweet.
Love you guys.
PS : Fuck Saf Ferry Terminal. Hate that dumb hole.
Had a great and simple 21st birthday, firstly lunch with all my close buddies, then caught Alice In The Wonderland on screen. The movie was great, imo. Lastly, had dinner with my family, also got a nice big cake for my birthday! LOL. My brother only took one candle, what a joke, he kept saying I was one year old only. Lmao.
Also thanks to my brother, JasonC, he got me a nice LV Slingbag. I seriously love it to the max.
Thanks to all my brothers, buddies, my dad and mom, for making my 21st so simple yet so sweet.
Love you guys.
PS : Fuck Saf Ferry Terminal. Hate that dumb hole.
Friday, January 8, 2010
It's been a long time.
It's been a long time since i've ever posted. Everything single thing in my life is so fucked up. My close friends should know why, and ofc, i would agree that army is fucking crap.
I'm just so moody around these few days, only enjoying Friday nights and Saturday.
Recently I just knew that a girl that we didn't got together was drinking every single week because of me.
I was so fucking shocked. I know that sorry isn't what you wanted, but at least right now, your still moving on without me in your life.
Well I guess I'm just gonna go sleep, gonna wake up early later, got tons of things to do.
Lastly, 3SG Kelvin.
Fuck you.
I'm just so moody around these few days, only enjoying Friday nights and Saturday.
Recently I just knew that a girl that we didn't got together was drinking every single week because of me.
I was so fucking shocked. I know that sorry isn't what you wanted, but at least right now, your still moving on without me in your life.
Well I guess I'm just gonna go sleep, gonna wake up early later, got tons of things to do.
Lastly, 3SG Kelvin.
Fuck you.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
1.2.3.
Everyday seems the same to me. Waking up, late, not being able to sleep much.
Everytime my eye closes, images of you keep flippin through my head.
Am I crazy? I wish i was.
Today i asked myself. Why live when I'm in such pain? Why?
First thought was like, no balls to end my pain. LOL.
Your just like a bitch and an emotional abuser.
Your in the wrong, yet I don't know why I myself is in a fucking self-deprecating state.
Or do I need to work on my self esteem?
In our little game of deceit, we both managed to lie to each other so much, that words seems to be failing me.
I thought I could play on, with the thought on my mind, that you don't matter to me at all.
Or am I trying to delay the inevitable?
But that's the past. I gotta move on, w/ or w/o you.
Bye.
PS: I still can't figure out 23 yo and 20 yo mentality got what difference. -_-
Everytime my eye closes, images of you keep flippin through my head.
Am I crazy? I wish i was.
Today i asked myself. Why live when I'm in such pain? Why?
First thought was like, no balls to end my pain. LOL.
Your just like a bitch and an emotional abuser.
Your in the wrong, yet I don't know why I myself is in a fucking self-deprecating state.
Or do I need to work on my self esteem?
In our little game of deceit, we both managed to lie to each other so much, that words seems to be failing me.
I thought I could play on, with the thought on my mind, that you don't matter to me at all.
Or am I trying to delay the inevitable?
But that's the past. I gotta move on, w/ or w/o you.
Bye.
PS: I still can't figure out 23 yo and 20 yo mentality got what difference. -_-
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
The next stop.
Finally.
My TP life has finally ended. My GPA totally fucking suck. But idc. At least i'm gonna graduate.
I'm sad and happy at the same time. I felt that 3 and a 1/2 years in poly was not the least exciting but i enjoyed all the lessons and moments i had with all my friends and co. I don't wanna end my poly life, but there's nothing i can do at all.
Everything will come to an end finally.
The chalet on Sunday to Tuesday was fun. Xavier was the highlight of the chalet. He totally rocked it!
Well, results are gonna come out on 10th Sept, so i'm hoping for a pass on all my subjects, lol.
Ahmad - Pukimar and fucking bastard, but still nevertheless a great friend.
Ashlyn Sun - Drinker + Nonsense = Ashlyn. But still, very nice friend, and sorry for all the jokes, but you know i'm always just KIDDING.
Barry - Brother, i've graduated already, let's get our diploma certificate next semester togther.
Jason Phua - Fast eater.
Eugene - Brother, you better stop going kopitiam to drink beer can? But hey bro, thanks for every tests and quizzes you've taught me.
Xavier - You finally grown up, you got so fucking drunk on the 2 day chalet. Thanks for being a joke in my poly life.
Zhiwei - You ccb. I spent most of my time in TP at staircase smoking with you. But goodluck taking your last CDS next semester. Cheers for our friendship.
Mon - Fuck you.
Bryan - Let's go sing K again sometimes. And im gonna beat you to death.
Yvonne - Lin Jun Jie -_-' But hey, thanks for helping me in my exams!
Junaidi - Xcn player. Great scammer.
Ken - Kettler strong man. It was a short time with you and Junaidi, but still you guys are still good friends to me regardless of the time we have known. You two better watch out, later i Xiao Li Fei Dao you two, confirm you all died. Passion to die.
I don't wanna end like this.
But still, time will never stop just for me.
3 cheers for our friendship in poly.
Goodluck in life you fucking bitches.
The next stop.
Will finally come.
icantbestopped.
BCGH_/
My TP life has finally ended. My GPA totally fucking suck. But idc. At least i'm gonna graduate.
I'm sad and happy at the same time. I felt that 3 and a 1/2 years in poly was not the least exciting but i enjoyed all the lessons and moments i had with all my friends and co. I don't wanna end my poly life, but there's nothing i can do at all.
Everything will come to an end finally.
The chalet on Sunday to Tuesday was fun. Xavier was the highlight of the chalet. He totally rocked it!
Well, results are gonna come out on 10th Sept, so i'm hoping for a pass on all my subjects, lol.
Ahmad - Pukimar and fucking bastard, but still nevertheless a great friend.
Ashlyn Sun - Drinker + Nonsense = Ashlyn. But still, very nice friend, and sorry for all the jokes, but you know i'm always just KIDDING.
Barry - Brother, i've graduated already, let's get our diploma certificate next semester togther.
Jason Phua - Fast eater.
Eugene - Brother, you better stop going kopitiam to drink beer can? But hey bro, thanks for every tests and quizzes you've taught me.
Xavier - You finally grown up, you got so fucking drunk on the 2 day chalet. Thanks for being a joke in my poly life.
Zhiwei - You ccb. I spent most of my time in TP at staircase smoking with you. But goodluck taking your last CDS next semester. Cheers for our friendship.
Mon - Fuck you.
Bryan - Let's go sing K again sometimes. And im gonna beat you to death.
Yvonne - Lin Jun Jie -_-' But hey, thanks for helping me in my exams!
Junaidi - Xcn player. Great scammer.
Ken - Kettler strong man. It was a short time with you and Junaidi, but still you guys are still good friends to me regardless of the time we have known. You two better watch out, later i Xiao Li Fei Dao you two, confirm you all died. Passion to die.
I don't wanna end like this.
But still, time will never stop just for me.
3 cheers for our friendship in poly.
Goodluck in life you fucking bitches.
The next stop.
Will finally come.
icantbestopped.
BCGH_/
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