Thank you.

It's termtest week, and tomorrow's the fucking termtest paper. I'm not even in the mood for studying. But yea, forget about all this shit right now, i got the fuckin mood to rant.


I suddenly remember, how fucked-up my life was, and how fat i was last time.

Prolly no one knows how i felt when i was the old me.

No one except you guys.

If not for you guys, i wouldn't be what i am today.

Thank you bros, only you guys didn't looked down on me.

Only you all were such true friends, you guys were there whenever i need you guys most.

You guys prolly wouldn't know, even i looked down on myself.

Why the fuck you guys wouldn't look down on me?

Who are the only ones, that knows what it feels when your talking to someone, and that someone thought that your not talking to him?

The someone that couldn't even speak properly to a girl, nor others.

You guys weren't those other fucking people that made me so fucking pissed off, 'hey guanheng, you talking to me?'.

I really thought very bad of myself.

I couldn't imagine my life without you guys.

I'm pretty sorry though, for the past few years, after i've changed, for the relationships and games i went into, probably got us abit gapped.

I still remembered the most fucked-up birthday i had on my 17th. But you guys made it happen, by doing everything you all can.

If people would ask me, why are you living in this world?

The answer is just so plain fucking simple.

I live for you guys..

Thank you all.

Special thanks to, Kuah Tong Teck, Derek Chua, Neo Zhe Wei, Barry Lua, Ivan Lee, Wong Xin Yao, Ho Long Feng, Tan Zhi Zhong.


Until next time, going off for dota game.

icantbestopped.

BCGH_/

Today's Special.

Trust me, never say the below.



Whenever you need me, ill be there.

Whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, ill be there.

Whenever you need someone to share your sorrows, ill be there.

Whenever you need to be comforted, ill be there.

Whenever you don't.

I'll fuck off.

Loving you, doesn't means you must love me in return.

May it be like a one sided love.

Sympathy isn't my cup of tea.

Being together with me, just cause of pity.

Turns me off.

Deep in my heart, i know that i had to let you go.

Cause your just ain't mine to hold.

Copyrighted.
2009, BCGH_/

I actually wanted to write more, not just those short quotes. But i have to go for my dota game.

Until next time.

Peace out.

icantbestopped.

BCGH_/

trying to poetz. _/

So close but so far away.

Never wanted things to be like these anyway.

If yesterday brings a good tomorrow.

I'm never ever gonna see today.

My heart is broken.

And scars split open.

This knife shall be my everything.

And take me from my world.

Take me from this pain.

Make it go away.

icantbestopped.

BCGH_/

When your in love, are you really in love, or are you not?

If you are looking for love, would you recognize it if you found it?

Can you tell the fucking difference between love and infatuation?


Here we go.

For a starter, i shall put it purely into a guy's perspective view.

"How would you know you have found your love, if your looking for one, how could u recognize that she's the one?"

How the fuck can you srsly recognize that you found your love?

Let me state some 'NORMAL' answers that would be possible.

*The girl has got a great character, i love her because of that.

*The girl is so caring and kind, i love her because of that.

*I just love the girl because i love the girl. No whys. Can you explain why is 1+1 = 2?

Let's not waste any fucking time and just say that the answers above are just total bullshit. Yea, you heard me, total bullshit. Your trying to say, you love the girl JUST because of her character?

Reality check.

What makes you notice the girl in the first place?

Her looks. May it be her figure, her cuteness, her hotness, or w/e. The first impression will be always be based on looks. And please don't come arguing that you don't agree on that. It will be just another lame and stupid fucking debate. I wouldn't completely disagree that character is not a factor in loving/liking someone. It will probably be the second factor that we guys would consider. Looks, is a necessity, character wise, it's just a bonus. Face it.

'Can you tell the fucking difference between love and infatuation?'

There is only a thin line of difference between love and infatuation.
Love is really hard to define though. For me, probably i'll define love as any number of emotions, and strong sense of affection that may occurs. Infatuation doesn't differ much from love, but instead, it's the state of being completely carried away by unreasoned love, a probably intense but short-lived passion or admiration of someone. The both are totally different. Let me try to explain it.( If i can LOL, im not claiming to be an expert. Just some simple thoughts from me.)

Finally you have met him or her. All your life, or so it seems, you have been waiting for the person. The person who made you heart pound, made the stars bright, and probably taken all possibly thoughts of making love in any places that you have fantasized of. Food seems a mere inconvenience, and sleep is just something you used to do. Everyone teases you. But still, you felt that every second of your life should be about him/her. You world starts to only revoluntionize around him/her. You want a soul mate, but you couldn't imagine introducing him/her to your mom and dad, cause she/he is just way too sexy.

Then you guys start to go public. Being an item. Everyone knows you and invites you as an couple. People you know and probably yourself would try to speculate about the future of your relationship. But would you fucking dare to speculate or imagine about the future of your relationship? Or are you just afraid to face the commitment that lies ahead of you?

Love is a dynamic changing process.(dynamic refers to time evolution of "physical" processes in this case) Love is always on the move, and changing. Relationships that flexes, changes and grow when people mature. Dynamic process of love equals a sharing of emotion, trust, growth of relationship, able to live harmoniously through time or death, depending on each other in time of crises, taking care of children, and aging relatives.

So is it just infatuation? In infatuation, your gaze, your thoughts, and your world revolves around him/her. You probably didn't care much about his/her flaws, or you had yet to see em. Your probably just acting around in a 'sub-conscious' mind. Your too attracted to her, and you know you can't stop right now. You would probably just miss the nights where you two get all crawly in your underwears. It seems that the world pales in comparison to this person looks, talents, intelligence, and sexuality. Try removing the blinders that prevented you so much from looking at his/her flaws. There could be possible destructive traits in your relationships. Your thoughts on romance was probably just an innocent fantasy. An infatuation that felt like love.

So you would try to argue. Even all that, you think that your love is love. It's not an infatuation. Try to think. What's the real reason that you came into this relationship? Innocence? Lust? Loneliness? A longing to grow up, and be a real man?(LOL) Yea, try thinking of those factors, it would probably help.

Try to differentiate between love interest, or just plain lust interest.

That's all for today.

And one more thing, Junaidi's from Fnatic.

Peace out mofos.

icantbestopped.

BCGH_/

Bryan's Ten Tarnished Angels.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Party Party Party.

This question, until today, is carved deep into my heart;

-Would you mind being a third party, if yes, is that wrong, or is that right?-

Firstly. Who the fuck wanna be a third party of a r/s? Its not like being in threesome or w/e fuck isn't it?
But sometimes, things aren't so simple. Not everything can be controlled, and matters of the heart is one of em.

Some would say yes. It depends on the opposite sex. May it be sexual appeal, appearance, character, charisma, every of this factor does their part. Some people may consider being a third party in a r/s if he/she really likes the opposite sex. And reasons like, 'i can't control it', may also occur.

But still, the majority said no. Imagine you and your gf, then someone comes in as a third party. Would you like that? Fuck no you wouldn't.

Lets go further shall we?

For those whom their minds are thinking, 'why can't i be in a third party, there's no fair and square in love!"
I can say that you are right. Well, partially. Love is not a thing. It can't be controlled. Falling in love with someone that is attached is not wrong. You can't help it can you? If the opposite sex likes you, and you two are indeed cheating. Is that right, or is that wrong?

Obviously, 'cheating' is a word that's bound to be wrong. But lets look it at another point of view. Imagine Guy A, is attached to Girl B. Your Guy C and you like Girl B. If you express your feelings to Girl B, and she doesn't like you. Okay fine, go cut your wrist and fuck yourself. But if she does like you, you two started to hang out pretty much often, then YOU became a third party. Is that really wrong? If Girl B do not like you, you wouldn't be a third party would you? So even without you stepping in, the r/s wouldn't last long either. Well this is just another point of view. No offence to the girls, this point of view could be vice versa.

With what i wrote above, it meant no other then being a third party is not totally all wrong.

But if it has any right in being a third party.. How right can it get when your being a mother fucker destroying relationships?

OMG I'M GETTING CONFUSED. ARE YOU GUYS GETTING CONFUSED?

I think that, there is no right, no wrong in being a third party.It can be looked at lots of perspective views. Love cannot be stopped, nor controlled. If you really like someone, you should get all out to woo her. On the other hand, your being a douche bag destroying people's r/s.

For what ive experienced. I think that the hardest in being a third party is not being right or wrong. Its when you became, the right and the wrong. When you tell the girl that you can't do this anymore, it is so not fucking right. The girl says that she can't let you go. When you tell the girl to break up with her bf, she said she can't.
You try to 'enter' the r/s, you can't, because, its a matter of principle.
You try to 'exit' the r/s, you can't, cause the girl said she can't let you go, and your heart softened, and deep down in ya fucking heart you know you can't let go either.
You can't love, and you cannot not love.

It's worse then being ditched.

It's worse then being rejected.

It's worse then being heartbroken.

It's worse then making unsuccessful confessions.

It's hurtin me, until today.

Afterall, it's your own choice, to fall into the bottomless pit.



If babe, your reading this, please do not be mistaken. ;D

I'm not writing about you. It's just a theme for my blog.

Make love not wars.

Make parties not third parties. ( LOL )

Peace out fuckahhhhhs.


BCGH_/

Aftermath of "god's" creation.

H
1
N
1

I personally felt this virus was so indeed laughable. Influezna A (H1N1) virus, which is supposedly the scientific name, and some of ya probably heard it as the Swine flu. I have personally researched it a lil, and found out that there's no exact origin of when / where it started. So people, please stop the " fuck the mexicans" kinda shit. But true enough, first cases detected of this virus, were from Mexico. I really pity the kid that was sent to USA for proper treatment, and nothing could be done, so there goes the first death case of the H1N1 virus in USA. God bless him.

I remembered two days ago, while i was lying on my bed, watching the news, Singapore said that probably the H1N1 will be lifted to Phase 6, which is considered an official pandemic. But yesterday morning, news were saying bout Mexico being able to control the virus. But cmon peeps, we are still on Phase 5, which is still only an epidemic! Look on the bright side!

Are you guys hoping for a vaccine / cure ?

But i dont think so..

Ever heard of 2012 Doomsday prediction? Where people predicted that world's gonna end?
Mesoamerican long count calendar, which is presented as lasting 5,125 years and as terminating on December 12, 2012. The predictions / prophecies / assumptions , probably the fucking Armageddon would overtake the degenerates of the world. And we would all be fucking annihilated on December 23, 2012. Fuck that shit, do you guys seriously believe a fucking Armageddon is gonna fall on us? Lets look at the long decided "Doomsday" at another point of view.

1918.

The Flu Pandemic.
(if you guys do not know, a pandemic is some sort like epidemic of infectious diseases that hits across a country, continent, or even worldwide. whereas an epidemic occurs when certain disease occurs in a given human population, during a given period. Its some sort like where you can still control the outbreak.)

During March 1918, to June 1920. An estimation of around 70 to 100 million people died worldwide, due to the Influezna A H1N1 virus. The number was even more then the people who died during the World War I.

Fucking funny ey, 1918 flu pandemic was not by the pigs i think. But instead 2009, the pig strikes.

Imagine the world end's cause is the Influezna A H1N1 virus. Wow holy fuck, and pigs are the originator / carrier of this sick virus.

But sure, jokes have been carried around alot, like, "hey if you have the swine flu, your gonna look like a pig!".


Just imagine the link.
1918 Flu pandemic, same virus, as 2009. And yet a vaccine have yet to be found. The death toll during 1918 was around 70 to 100 million people. And its only around 2 years and 7 months til the "expected" world end. Probably, in another 12 months time, the flu is gonna hit the world. And then after 2 years, i shall be Will Smith, I Am Legend.

I will develop the vaccine.

If there are still survivors after 2012 December 23.

For the world's end. _/

i cant be stopped.

Life.

Life.



Why are we here?

What's life all about?

What is the meaning of it all?

These are the questions which has been asked for many years. The meaning of life may touch on value, purpose, ethics, existence of God, and so on.
Well i don't think there's an exact answer to it.
Throughout all this centuries, way back into the past, the meaning of life constitutes a philosophical question which concerns the real purpose and the significance of human existence.

Lets all come back to the near distant future shall we? :D

Are we humans a prototype of species from an outer planetwhich is light years away, absent even from our current knowledge? I'm not really a religious person. So no, humans are not formed by god in any sense. Maybe the evolutions of apes, where scientists have already proven it. But i'm not here to fucking debate whether we were once apes or not.

SO WHY THE FUCK ARE WE HERE?!

Are we creatures that spends our lives trying to convince ourselves that our existence is not absurd?

Whats the meaning of my life?

If you think that the value of life is coincidental with the achievements in reality, if that believed by one to exist, it may just simply answer that question.

Some answers that life may be for;

-To realize one's potential and ideals.
-To achieve perfection. (if that's possible lmao)
-To seek wisdom and knowledge.
-To do good, the things that are 'right'?
-To rule the world, having power.
-One should not seek to understand the true meaning of life, as it may be too profound to be understood.


-To love. Personally, this is what i felt most about life. The true meaning of living for someone that you care, you love. Probably in the start, you will be confused about for whom, and what do you live for. Hopefully, other then your parents, friends, one may be able to find his/her soul mate. AGAIN I'M FUCKING STEREOTYPING LOL.


Ill just stop here, getting quite lengthy eh?

BCGH _/